please don't eat me

A conversation about marriage (with some classmates)

• Classmate #1: Like, I'm okay with gay people wanting to be with each other. But marriage should be between a guy and a girl.
• Classmate #2: I don't even want to see it. Like, it's nasty.
• Me: Oh my god! I know! My neighbor was talking about how he and his Jewish girlfriend wanna get married and I was like "Why should you two be allowed to get married?" in my head. I mean, why would they think it was okay for a Christian and a Jew to get married. Disgusting.
• Classmates: ....
• Me: And let me tell you about this other couple I saw making out at the mall. It was nasty. The boy was white and the girl was black. Can you believe that? Two people of different races being together? That's just wrong.
• Classmate #2: What the hell is wrong with you? So what if they want to be together?
• Classmate #1: Yeah, there isn't anything wrong with it.
• Me: Are you kidding me? It's completely wrong.There is only one kind of marriage that is okay. And that is between a man and a woman of the same race, religious background, with the same income level and from the same place. We wouldn't want kids to think that diversity is okay. God wouldn't appreciate these people ruining the sanctity of marriage.
• Classmate #1: Why are you even in this conversation? God loves everyone.
• Me: What? So you're telling me that God doesn't care who you marry, because he loves everyone?
• Classmate #1: Yeah...
• Me: Does he love animals, too?
• Classmate #1: He loves human and animals and living creatures all around.
• Me: Whoa. That just blew my mind. Well it is a good thing that gay people can't get married then. Because everyone knows that gay people aren't human, or living for that matter. Haha.
• Classmate #1: ....
• Me: Go choke on a dick you stupid prick.